It’s that magical time of year.
Bright, colorful lights;
Family gatherings around tables of our favourite food;
Twinkling eyes of children, waiting in anticipation for their favorite jolly guy in his bright red suit;
And a new hope for what might come in the New Year!
Yet for you, your heart may feel broken, maybe tears are welling up in your eyes.
If your still in pain after having lost a pregnancy, this time of year can be particularly lonely. You feel empty inside and the joy of others might make you want to crawl under the covers until the New Year.
- Give yourself Permission
Holiday gatherings can be overwhelming with well-intentioned, somewhat misguided comments from loving family or being in close proximity to pregnant friends and small children. At times like this, give yourself permission to excuse yourself early or politely bow out of even attending a gathering this year. Emotions after a pregnancy loss can run high and these settings may just add to your levels of stress. At the same time, a change of scenery can help lift your spirits, so listen to your heart and follow its lead.
I know, I know. You hear this so much that you’re thinking, Pulleassse! My heart might feels so numb and broken, how can I possibly feel grateful?! I get it, yet the reality is, choosing gratitude will lift your spirits and at the same time, it helps you to see the little miracles around you. Just simply going through the motions of gratitude, sparks some simple changes, even without your awareness. A simple smile, a warm hug, a thank you. Just give it a try, before you get out of bed in the morning and before your eyes close at night, think of three things your grateful for. You can write them down or say them out loud but do this for 10 days and see how your list begins to grow.
- Light a Candle
There’s something so peaceful about lighting a candle and no one else needs to know the purpose of it, if you don’t want to share it with them. On the eve of your holiday, light a candle in remembrance. As the wick begins to burn, set the intention that you are holding space for your baby and the healing of your broken dreams, as you send out your love to your little one. There’s something very comforting about this and you can even do it as you sit down for your family dinner, knowing that you are sending blessings out to all you love.
- Hold a Ceremony
This is a beautiful time of year to hold a ceremony of any kind but especially for your baby. If you have family or friends that are aware of your loss, use this time to have your nearest and dearest support you. Choose a space that feels safe for you, physically, mentally and emotionally. Make it sacred.
Have everyone bring a candle that you can each light to honor your baby. You could ask someone to read a poem or you could write a letter to your little one. Whether you read it out loud or lay it near your circle of candles, just do what’s right for you.
This is a time of remembering, of honoring and releasing. You may want to say a prayer or choose a special blessing. Just know that this is all for you, trust what feels right.
When you’re ready, you could plant your letter under a special tree or flower or even burn it and release it to the heavens.
In closing, ask those who gathered with you to write a message of hope. Each message could then be tied with a ribbon to your tree or placed in a special box for you to read in your own time.
Distinguish your candles and thank everyone for all they brought to your space.
I hope you found this helpful.
If you’d like to know more about what I do and how I can support you, you can find me here.
Do you know that feeling deep inside?
It keeps calling out to you.
It comes in your dreams.
It calls out to you through the day.
It whispers to you.
You turn your back on it.
Is it really calling you?
You try to distract yourself from it.
It’s always there.
No matter where you are or what you do, it calls out louder.
It wakes you in the night,
You become restless,
No matter how you try,
YOUR CALLING, IS CALLING YOU.
Can you hear it?
Is it a soft whisper?
Is it an ache in your heart?
You can do this.
You are ready.
Take that step,
The Universe is holding you,
The Angels support you,
The Goddesses surround you,
Step fully into all you are meant to be.
You were born to do this.
Photo Credit: Alex Iby
I love the healing power of Reiki, yet many people are skeptical as to how energy healing can possibly be helpful.
I get it, I was definitely uncertain of it when I first of heard of Reiki. Yet, when I had an opportunity to experience Reiki for the first time, my interest was piqued.
My first Reiki session was a Distant Session.
I couldn’t even imagine how this could be helpful for me or how it even worked, yet I was willing to give it a try. Something inside me knew I needed to experience this. This first session was only 15 minutes but I was amazed at the sense of peace that followed me for days after!
You see, I’ve struggled with Anxiety for most of my life. Worry, nervousness and stress were my constant companions. To go for even a few days with this amazing sense of peace filling me from the inside out, was incredible. From this point onward, my life slowly began to change in ways I couldn’t even imagine at the time.
Soon after I began to seek out a teacher. I wanted to know more. I wanted to learn to do this for myself.
It wasn’t long before I found a wonderful teacher who has guided me as I learned this amazing energy healing practice.
Do you remember as a child, how you would skin your knee and instinctively, you would hold your hands over it until it felt better? Or maybe when you have a headache, what’s the first thing you do? You hold your head with your hands, maybe rub your temple or the back of your head and somehow the pain begins to slowly subside. Have you felt fear, and your hands automatically rest on your heart or your stomach or maybe you have an argument and your hands immediately rest on your throat?
Without being conscious of what we’re doing, our hands bring a sense of calm, peace and balance to the area that needs it most.
That’s what Reiki does. We’re all beings of energy, just as Albert Einstein famously quoted…
“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”
Reiki (an ancient Japanese healing technique) is an energy healing method that helps create balance within our bodies. We intuitively know as very young children that we’re all able to shift our energy!
Once we learn and practice Reiki, we soon find that it can be very calming, similar to meditation, we feel centered, relaxed and at peace.
TRY THIS SIMPLE PRACTICE TO RAISE YOUR VIBE
- While sitting or lying down, close your eyes and begin to relax with a few deep breaths,
- Place one hand over your heart and another over your head. (It doesn’t matter whether its your forehead, the top or the back of your head.)
- Continue breathing as your own energy begins to flow. Do this for a couple minutes, allowing the energy to flow in rhythm with your breath, in and out, head to heart, heart to head. Imagine this energy releasing all worries, fears or anxiety from your body.
- Soon your mind will become quiet, and you may begin to feel a new sense of peace filling your entire body. When you’re ready, slowly open your eyes.
I hope you enjoyed this short energy healing session.
If you love what you’ve read and would like to experience a full reiki session, whether in person or distant you can schedule an appointment here.
If you live in the Southern Okanagan Valley, Canada and would like to learn Reiki for yourself, I have dates available for Reiki Level 1 in early 2018.
I had a beautiful conversation with a client, speaking of her fear of death since having had several miscarriages.
It brought back the memory of my own fears that I once struggled with.
This is something that increasingly haunted me with the loss of my babies. I had become so fearful of the loss of my family members and fur-babies that I never wanted to speak of my fear, for fear of making it a reality!
I knew this was no way to live, but I didn’t know how to cope with my fears.
When I finally learned that its very common for women who have experienced multiple losses to feel this strong fear of death, I actually felt some relief.
Its natural to feel this way after loss as we become so much more aware of just how fragile life is.
So, if this is you, please know you’re not alone!
So, what can you do?
- First of all, if this is a new experience for you, the feelings may gradually fade away in time.
- Recognize you fears – take a moment and really feel into that space. Where are you feeling this? What does it feel like? Where is this particular feeling coming from? By taking a moment to be truthful with how you feel and why, you can begin to rationalize exactly why this is coming up at this moment in time and begin to accept them.
- Speak your fear out loud – By speaking your fear and identifying why its there, it gives you a new sense of freedom. By acknowledging your fears you begin to take back your power.
- Call on your Angels – Your angels are ready and willing to support you, they’re just waiting for you to ask. Call on your angels and ask them to surround you or your loved one with a protective bubble of love and light. When you ask, don’t do this from a place of fear but of thankfulness.
- Gratitude – Create a habit of being grateful for each moment of your day. Whether you start your day or finish it with gratitude, a grateful heart lets you see what you have right now, in this moment and can help to dissolve the fears before they arise.
The intention here is that death is inevitable for all of us, yet we can learn to enjoy our life again to the fullest and experience all of the love, peace and joy that we desire.