I had a beautiful conversation with a client, speaking of her fear of death since having had several miscarriages.
It brought back the memory of my own fears that I once struggled with.
This is something that increasingly haunted me with the loss of my babies. I had become so fearful of the loss of my family members and fur-babies that I never wanted to speak of my fear, for fear of making it a reality!
I knew this was no way to live, but I didn’t know how to cope with my fears.
When I finally learned that its very common for women who have experienced multiple losses to feel this strong fear of death, I actually felt some relief.
Its natural to feel this way after loss as we become so much more aware of just how fragile life is.
So, if this is you, please know you’re not alone!
So, what can you do?
- First of all, if this is a new experience for you, the feelings may gradually fade away in time.
- Recognize you fears – take a moment and really feel into that space. Where are you feeling this? What does it feel like? Where is this particular feeling coming from? By taking a moment to be truthful with how you feel and why, you can begin to rationalize exactly why this is coming up at this moment in time and begin to accept them.
- Speak your fear out loud – By speaking your fear and identifying why its there, it gives you a new sense of freedom. By acknowledging your fears you begin to take back your power.
- Call on your Angels – Your angels are ready and willing to support you, they’re just waiting for you to ask. Call on your angels and ask them to surround you or your loved one with a protective bubble of love and light. When you ask, don’t do this from a place of fear but of thankfulness.
- Gratitude – Create a habit of being grateful for each moment of your day. Whether you start your day or finish it with gratitude, a grateful heart lets you see what you have right now, in this moment and can help to dissolve the fears before they arise.
The intention here is that death is inevitable for all of us, yet we can learn to enjoy our life again to the fullest and experience all of the love, peace and joy that we desire.
How do you want to feel?
Much of my story is probably not much different to most people on some level.
As children, we are raised on the values of the adults around us and what is important to them.
Then come the teen years where we take on some of those values for ourselves and experiment with new ideas and concepts. We become more of an individual and tend to test everything we’ve been taught as our freedom expands.
As young adults we learn to stand in our own space and while all of life is a transition for growth, we begin to understand what holds us to our own values.
My story has always been to please others. I have always been a people-pleaser. I’ve put my own desires on a back-burner while making sure everyone around me is happy and cared for. Sadly, over the years, I realized I didn’t know who I was or what was important to me.
I remember when I first was married, whenever my husband asked what I wanted – my reply was always “whatever you want.” Now, many years later, he doesn’t hear that very often! But the point is I was lost; I wasn’t able to stand in my own power.
Then last year I came across a wonderfully written book by Danielle LaPorte, The Desire Map. Starting at the beginning of the book, every page is dog-eared, highlighted, underlined and personal notes added. My soul was awakened.
I learned that getting clear on how I wanted to feel and doing whatever it took to create those feelings, is the most creative thing I could do for my life.
“Start where it feels easy.”
My list was large and over time, I got it down to ten, then four.
Joy, Connection, Flourish, Free
I lived with these for a while until I realized that while JOY envelopes every feeling and desire I have, CONNECTION was my true desire. Connection to Spirit, to nature, to family, to everything that is important to me.
CONNECTION served me and started me on a brand new path of searching for more. One year later, all that has transpired in my life is amazing; growth, expansion all guided by my CDF – Connection! I now have completed a brand new session of desire mapping, and have three new Core Desired Feelings that serve my heart and soul… SACRED, WILD, FREE
SACRED – My desire for a deeper connection with all that is sacred guides me every day; through meditation, learning, seeking and life.
WILD – I stand in my own power! I create my own path and embrace the magic within it!
FREE – To expand, to live life to my fullest potential, guided by my intuition to lead a life that is right for me!
What are some of your Core Desired Feelings?
They may surprise you!
Photo by Caleb Woods