12 Ways to Heal a Broken Heart after Miscarriage

12 Ways to Heal a Broken Heart after Miscarriage

Here you’ll find my Top 12 ways to support your own healing after miscarriage…

JOURNAL:  When I began to like I was ready to heal my broken heart after years of holding onto the grief and sadness of my miscarriages, I didn’t know how to release the tremendous pain that I felt and yet still hold on to the memory of my babies. A friend suggested I journal. Soon I found myself writing letters to each of my babies and through putting pen to paper, I realized that my soul craved the quiet time of reflection, connection, release and honoring.

FEEL ALL OF YOUR FEELINGS:  This is so hard yet its an integral step to healing your heartache. Lean into the depths of your soul and let your feelings rise. Recognize each one of them, honor them, the dark ones and the light ones. If you don’t give yourself the time and space to fully grieve through it all, it will come back in some other form.

CRYSTALS FOR GRIEF:  Rose Quartz, I’ve carried it in my pockets, laid it under my pillow and kept it close by my journal when I write. I love this crystal! The rose quartz is a crystal for unconditional love, it supports the heart during times of heavy grief and sadness.

Apache Tears, this is one I’ve recently been introduced to. There’s a legend that goes with this stone which you can look up, but Apache Tears is very supportive during grief and helps to keep you in the present moment rather than the past.

Ruby Zoisite, another favourite, helps to release heartache.

Mangano Calcite a very gentle stone for when you feel like you are drowning in grief, it makes you feel as though your angels are wrapping you in love.

The rose quartz is a crystal for unconditional love, it supports the heart during times of heavy grief and sadness.

CEREMONY: This can be as special or sacred as you like. You could plant a tree in memory of your baby. You could gather your family, light a candle and say a prayer or write a poem that you’ll always treasure. You may want to blow up some biodegradable balloons and release them on your baby’s first birthday.  Make this exactly what you need to support your healing.

ABSOLUTE ROSE OIL: Just a tiny drop on your finger to gently massage into your heart chakra (both front and back) When your heart feels broken, this will support you to keep an open heart.

COZY UP IN YOUR FAVOURITE BLANKET: No words needed here, sometimes this is like a hug from your favourite granny.

CLEAR THE ENERGY OF YOUR SPACE:  Use sage, a bay leaf, incense or an essential oil diffuser to clear any negative energy in your home. Be sure to open a window or two to all the smoke and negative energy to pass through your home.

NAME YOUR BABY: For some parents this may be too difficult to do. If your baby passed very early,some parents choose for something simple like peanut or jellybean. Yet for others, it makes their baby more real. Honor your heart in all you do and if this is right for you, then the perfect name will present itself.

JEWELRY: Honor yourself and your baby with a beautiful piece of jewelry that will commemorate the month they were to be born. You’ll always have a little piece of them close to your heart.

CREATE A SACRED MEMORY BOX:  This can be such a special opportunity to pour your heart into something beautiful for yourself and your little angel. In here, you can place your journal or any little treasures you collected for this baby. Sometimes you need to do something creative when your feelings are just so overwhelming and creating a memory box can feel so comforting. This is a wonderful idea, you could line it with silk and put a little teddy bear in there, your pregnancy test stick, a letter or any other little mementos.

SELF CARE: Whether you have a luxurious bubble bath, book a massage, buy some flowers or gather your family and friends, make time that you can devote to some sacred self care.

SEE A COUNSELOR, HEALER OR GRIEF COACH:  If you’ve recently lost your baby, your pain may be very raw. Healing your heartache of your pregnancy loss is a very personal choice. You must go through this healing journey; however, you can do it a way that is right you.  Please ensure you seek the support that will be helpful to you right now. You do not have to go through this alone.

 

 

If you’ve got questions or would you like to have support through your healing journey, I invite you to connect with me for a free 20 minute Soul Care Call

 

 

Tracey Swainson is wife and fur baby mama, first and foremost. She’s also an intuitive healer and mentor, passionate about supporting women as they heal their heartache of pregnancy loss and the stories that may have been created due to the emotional trauma of their loss. She brings healing both to the spiritual and physical bodies through intimate, sacred, supportive one on one sessions. It was the emotional and spiritual healing of her own pregnancy loss experiences that fully birthed her into this sacred . Tracey empowers women to transform their broken hearts and guides them to remember their inherent truth so they can gain closure and heal from the inside – out.

8 Grief Practices to Support you after Miscarriage

8 Grief Practices to Support you after Miscarriage

Miscarriage can be such a lonely experience and healing your heartache of the loss of your baby can feel impossible.  Intense grief that is felt after pregnancy loss, can make you feel disconnected from your body.  My hope is that these practices will guide you to peace on your grief journey.

 

Are your feelings of loss still very painful?  Healing the heartache of your pregnancy loss is a very personal choice. This is your healing journey; and you must do it in a way that is right for you.  Please seek the support that will be helpful to you right now. You never have to go through this alone.

 

Let’s dive in!

Breathe – When your heart is breaking, when you’re in the midst of disbelief, shock, and anger and you’re feeling more sadness than you could ever imagine, remember to breathe. Our breath is a miracle that lives inside of each of us and in the midst of such extreme grief, we often forget this one simple act. Our breath gives us life. It can anchor our heart, mind, body and soul in spite of our breaking heart.  When we experience moments in life of deep sadness, loss or stress, our breath will become shallow. When we become conscious of our breath, we are able to bring more oxygen in our bodies to support us on our healing path. Your breath will help to feel grounded, connected and balanced in your body.

Healing Exercise:  Take a moment now to just be conscious of your breath. Is it shallow or is it deep?

Cry – How often do we hide our tears, so no one knows just how deeply we feel our pain? We hide our tears for fear of being perceived as weak and yet it is our tears that open up the floodgates to allow our healing to begin. Let them flow. If our lives are busy, try to set aside even a few minutes each day, for as long as you need to allow the tears to flow. This allows your heart to begin to heal.

Listen to your Heart – What I mean by this, is that in our stillness we can hear the whispers of our heart. In this place, we can ask what our heart needs and take action from here. It can be too easy to get busy and lose ourselves in our grief by trying to mask our pain with busyness. Give yourself permission to be still and listen to what you truly need right now.

Healing Exercise: Sit in a quiet place. Take a nice deep breath. When you know that you have reached a place of calm, place your hand on your heart and as you continue to breathe, ask your heart what it needs in this moment. Be patient and listen for its answer. This takes practice, so if you don’t hear or feel an answer, simply be open to receiving it when you’re ready.  Do this two or three times to calm and center yourself.

Communicate with Family and Friends. – Now that you know what your heart longs for, it’ll be easier to let those who care about you to know what it is that you need. Often times, unless we’re able to communicate our needs, they’ll be too afraid to say or do the wrong thing. This may leave you feeling all alone, feeling like they don’t care, when in most cases, it’s the opposite.

 

Nothing ever goes away

 

Forgiveness – This is a difficult one I know. There are well-meaning people in our lives who believe they are saying and doing the right things when they are in our presence. Too often though, the words they speak can feel like a dagger in our heart. And then there are the words that we secretly speak to ourselves; “If only I did ____________________, my baby would not have died.” “If only I had rested more.” Whatever it might be, when our heart is broken, we become experts at being angry and blaming ourselves for everything.  When we’re able to forgive ourselves and those near and dear to us, we create a space inside of compassion.

Healing Exercise: Take out a sheet of paper and without giving yourself too much time to think, write out everything and everyone one that you desire to forgive. When you’re done, you can either burn this list or maybe bury it in your garden or fold it small and bury it in a plant, this is a beautiful exercise that will help you release the hurt and pain and let the seeds of forgiveness grow.

Practice Compassion – As you can see, forgiveness naturally leads us to compassion. Self-compassion can be a challenging trait to cultivate, especially after such a heart-breaking experience of miscarriage. Forgiveness and self-compassion are two qualities that took me years to put into practice. Why? In order to truly forgive and to be compassionate towards ourselves, we must be willing to do the deep work. Its so important to really feel each of our feelings. We have to know why we feel that way, what is it asking of us, what are we needing that we may not be honoring within our lives. One of the keys to truly healing our sadness, is to truly feel all of our emotions.  Our baby died before we could even hold them in our arms! That’s BIG and the pain can go DEEP! Creating a safe space to really recognize and honor our emotions without judgement, is an act of love. Self-compassion nurtures our soul, it’s a loving act that can go a long way toward guiding us on our healing journey.

Healing Exercise: When you’re ready, place your hand on your heart, take a nice deep breath and say “I love myself when I _______________ (fill in the blank – when I am sad, when I feel angry, when I feel misunderstood, when I think of….)

Waking Breath Gratitude – When you’re feeling lost in your grief, gratitude can feel impossible. Yet if even just the smallest things grab your attention, this can be another step on your journey through grief.

Healing Exercise: Each morning as you wake, can you name 3 things you’re grateful for? What about as you move through your day, can you feel into your heart to listen for whispers of gratitude?

Sacred Self- Care – You are a divine woman and sacred self-care is an act of love toward yourself. A good night sleep, nutritious meals, surrounding your self with people who will help you rise when you feel lost are all important acts of self-love. This is the time to nourish your mind, body and soul with powerful practices and rituals that are going to support you as you heal your broken heart. Saying ‘Yes’ to healing your grief is a courageous act of self-care. Healing our heartache of grief allows for the expansion of our soul. More often than not – it’s the journey through the dark night of our soul that awakens within us the need to heal, from the inside-out and it isn’t for the faint of heart. Sacred self-care is being willing to go deep. It’s the willingness to do whatever must be done to find your joy again, to know that you are worthy of peace and so much more.

     Healing through grief is such an individual experience. It cannot be rushed, it takes as long as it takes. Be patient with yourself.  Try a few of these practices, see what works for you and let go of the rest.

 

 

If you’ve got questions or would you like to have support through your healing journey, I invite you to connect with me for a free 20 minute Soul Care Call

 

 

Tracey Swainson is wife and fur baby mama, first and foremost. She’s also an intuitive healer and mentor, passionate about supporting women as they heal their heartache of pregnancy loss and the stories that may have been created due to the emotional trauma of their loss. She brings healing both to the spiritual and physical bodies through intimate, sacred, supportive one on one sessions. It was the emotional and spiritual healing of her own pregnancy loss experiences that fully birthed her into this sacred . Tracey empowers women to transform their broken hearts and guides them to remember their inherent truth so they can gain closure and heal from the inside – out.

 

Photo Credit: Liam Simpson & Fernando Brasil

Be Patient with your Grief

Be Patient with your Grief

Be patient with your grief,
It’s is such a personal thing,
Healing your heartache of pregnancy loss takes time, 
BE PATIENT
 
Lost in a tangle of emotions from deep sadness to shame;
Devastation, guilt, loneliness. Grief by nature is lonely.
As hard as it can be to admit, even jealousy and anger..
BE PATIENT
 
Whatever you feel inside, let your feelings rise.
Now is your time to navigate these muddy waters of emotions.
Honor the space you’re in, YOU ARE HEALING.
BE PATIENT
 
Your tears may well over and flow endlessly;
You may turn inward to work through your grief;
Its ok to be sad for yourself and still happy for others, just
BE PATIENT
 
You may feel empty inside.
Or lose your appetite.
You may want to sleep and hide away from loved ones.
PLEASE BE PATIENT
 
This will pass,
In this moment, every thought and feeling is a journey of its own.
Feel what you are feeling, let your emotions rise.
This is your healing.
BE PATIENT
 
Grief has no timeline.
Your heartache will lighten,
You will learn to honor your baby
In a way that’s right for you;
For now, this time is for you.
BE PATIENT
 
In the depths of your heartache,
Always remember,
You do not journey alone,
Sisters, past, present and future stand by your side’
Lifting you, reminding you….
You are strong.
Your light is still burning inside.
You may not see it now, you may not feel it.
You are more courageous, passionate and powerful than you know.
Sister, you are a powerful being of light!
YOUR LIGHT STILL SHINES TRUE.

If you’ve got questions or would you like to have support through your healing journey, I invite you to connect with me for a free 20 minute Soul Care Call

 

Tracey Swainson is wife and fur baby mama, first and foremost. She’s also an intuitive healer and mentor, passionate about supporting women as they heal their heartache of pregnancy loss and the stories that may have been created due to the emotional trauma of their loss. She brings healing both to the spiritual and physical bodies through intimate, sacred, supportive one on one sessions. It was the emotional and spiritual healing of her own pregnancy loss experiences that fully birthed her into this sacred work. Tracey empowers women to transform their broken hearts and guides them to remember their inherent truth so they can gain closure and heal from the inside – out.
Creating Christmas Magic after Pregnancy Loss

Creating Christmas Magic after Pregnancy Loss

It’s that magical time of year.

Bright, colorful lights;

Family gatherings around tables of our favourite food;

Twinkling eyes of children, waiting in anticipation for their favorite jolly guy in his bright red suit;

And a new hope for what might come in the New Year!

Yet for you, your heart may feel broken, maybe tears are welling up in your eyes.

If your still in pain after having lost a pregnancy, this time of year can be particularly lonely. You feel empty inside and the joy of others might make you want to crawl under the covers until the New Year.

If you’re still healing from the heartache of pregnancy loss, I would love to share some ideas with you to help you bring some magic back into your holiday.

  • Give yourself Permission

Holiday gatherings can be overwhelming with well-intentioned, somewhat misguided comments from loving family or being in close proximity to pregnant friends and small children. At times like this, give yourself permission to excuse yourself early or politely bow out of even attending a gathering this year. Emotions after a pregnancy loss can run high and these settings may just add to your levels of stress.  At the same time, a change of scenery can help lift your spirits, so listen to your heart and follow its lead.

  • Gratitude

I know, I know. You hear this so much that you’re thinking, Pulleassse!  My heart might feels so numb and broken, how can I possibly feel grateful?!  I get it, yet the reality is, choosing gratitude will lift your spirits and at the same time, it helps you to see the little miracles around you. Just simply going through the motions of gratitude, sparks some simple changes, even without your awareness. A simple smile, a warm hug, a thank you. Just give it a try, before you get out of bed in the morning and before your eyes close at night, think of three things your grateful for. You can write them down or say them out loud but do this for 10 days and see how your list begins to grow.

  • Light a Candle

There’s something so peaceful about lighting a candle and no one else needs to know the purpose of it, if you don’t want to share it with them. On the eve of your holiday, light a candle in remembrance. As the wick begins to burn, set the intention that you are holding space for your baby and the healing of your broken dreams, as you send out your love to your little one.   There’s something very comforting about this and you can even do it as you sit down for your family dinner, knowing that you are sending blessings out to all you love.

  • Hold a Ceremony

This is a beautiful time of year to hold a ceremony of any kind but especially for your baby.  If you have family or friends that are aware of your loss, use this time to have your nearest and dearest support you.  Choose a space that feels safe for you, physically, mentally and emotionally. Make it sacred.

Have everyone bring a candle that you can each light to honor your baby. You could ask someone to read a poem or you could write a letter to your little one.  Whether you read it out loud or lay it near your circle of candles, just do what’s right for you.

This is a time of remembering, of honoring and releasing. You may want to say a prayer or choose a special blessing.  Just know that this is all for you, trust what feels right.

When you’re ready, you could plant your letter under a special tree or flower or even burn it and release it to the heavens.

In closing, ask those who gathered with you to write a message of hope.  Each message could then be tied with a ribbon to your tree or placed in a special box for you to read in your own time.

Distinguish your candles and thank everyone for all they brought to your space.

 

 

I hope you found this helpful.

If you’ve got questions or would you like to have support through your healing journey, I invite you to connect with me for a free 20 minute Soul Care Call

 

 

Tracey Swainson is an energy healer and intuitive guide on a mission to support women as they heal their heartache of pregnancy loss. She brings healing both to the spiritual and physical bodies through intimate, sacred, supportive one on one sessions. It was the emotional and spiritual healing of her own pregnancy loss experiences that fully birthed her into this sacred work. Tracey empowers women to transform their broken hearts and guides them to remember their inherent truth so they can gain closure and heal from the inside – out.

 

Finding Courage

Finding Courage

Pregnancy loss Is HARD. Losing a child before you have a chance to hold them in your arms or in the very early stages of their life.

There is nothing that I’ve experienced in this lifetime that has affected me more emotionally, mentally or spiritually than the loss of my pregnancies. Coming to terms with my inability to have my own children was a very long journey for me.

Each of my pregnancy losses were heart-breaking and yet it was the catalyst for my own personal healing and my desire to guide women on their own healing quest.

My commitment to healing emotionally brought me to a place of learning to be vulnerable enough to look deeply into my heartache. I had to be willing to allow feelings, long buried, to surface. Emotions that I pushed down so deeply that I could almost tell myself “it doesn’t matter any more,” … until it did.

Those feelings kept coming back to me, lurking in the shadows of my mind. Then, something would spark a memory and it all would come flooding back once again.

This is how I felt with each pregnancy loss. Time continued ticking by and with each loss I pushed my sadness, shame and a myriad of other emotions down deep. Maybe if I kept pushing them farther down, they would eventually just disappear.

Until someone asked “how many children do I have?” Or I saw a child in the playground that is the same age that mine would be and I would wonder what life would be like if my babies were all here now.

Each little trigger would bring up the negative self-talk, a reminder that maybe I’m less of a woman than another who can have children so easily, or maybe I wouldn’t be accepted by women who are blessed enough to have a child.

By holding on to my emotional pain and all the negative crap, I just created a divide between myself and everyone else around me. I saw myself as less than, not worthy of having all the blessings that life could offer me.

See how this works? Until I was brave enough to look my insecurities straight in the face, to see it for all it was and understand that it wasn’t serving my best interest in any way at all, I just remained stuck. Literally like a stick in the mud, I wasn’t going anywhere.

I learned how to hide my sadness and fears but it would absolutely come back to haunt me. It wasn’t until I completely surrendered to it all, that I found the strength to finally let it go.

When I finally began to talk to other women and learned that many of our feelings and experiences were similar, I learned wasn’t alone.

I finally decided to commit to my own healing.

I learned to build myself back up through journaling, meditation, energy healing, physical exercise and digging deep for the courage that was there all along.

She was waiting for me to rise up. Waiting for me to let go of the negative emotions that forever dragged me down.

Courage, she lifted me from the mud and placed me on a new path. A path of peace and pure joy.

 

If you’ve got questions or would you like to have support through your healing journey,

I invite you to connect with me for a free 20 minute Soul Care Call

 

Tracey Swainson is wife and fur baby mama, first and foremost. She’s also an intuitive healer and mentor, passionate about supporting women as they heal their heartache of pregnancy loss and the stories that may have been created due to the emotional trauma of their loss. She brings healing both to the spiritual and physical bodies through intimate, sacred, supportive one on one sessions. It was the emotional and spiritual healing of her own pregnancy loss experiences that fully birthed her into this sacred work. Tracey empowers women to transform their broken hearts and guides them to remember their inherent truth so they can gain closure and heal from the inside – out.  http://www.traceyswainson.com 
Healing through Acceptance

Healing through Acceptance

Healing through Acceptance is a process…

We seldom consider the experience that our heart, mind and body must go through to reach this place of acceptance, to allow our experience to process in area of our life, emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.

Healing is a time of transformation; as we release the dreams, heartache and sorrow to make room for something new.

Acceptance

Peace

Grace

In order to heal, we must be willing to release and more often then not, there is a breakdown before there is breakthrough. In my experience, I’ve noticed that the journey to healing comes in waves.

Just when you feel like you finally have control, that you’ve fully accepted your circumstances and all is smooth sailing, along comes a rogue wave that sends you crashing to the depths, feeling the pain all over again!

It took me years to find peace with the loss of my pregnancies. There were times that I felt like it was all water under the bridge, and then I would see children the age that mine would be, walking to school, riding bikes, just living life and the wave would wash over me once again. Bringing up all the emotions long buried, feeling the heartache all over again.

It wasn’t until I finally became aware that I hadn’t truly accepted the fact that I was not going to be a mother, that this lifetime would pass me by without having the opportunity to experience all that motherhood entailed, did I finally genuinely embrace the courage to release my heartache.

What I’ve found with healing, is that the memory never leaves;

The sadness is always a small undercurrent of emotion, I still shed tears and feel the emptiness at times; but with acceptance comes peace and slowly a transformation takes place.

Let your heart be your guide. It knows what’s best for you.

  • Be sure to give your body rest, to nourish it with nutritious food and strengthen it with exercise.
  • Create some space for joy!
  • Share your story in whatever way you can, as speaking of your loss brings healing.
  • If you have no one to share with, then write. Pour your heart and soul into writing, and amazing soulful healing take place within your heart.

It’s been 16 years now since my first miscarriage, with several others to follow and though at times the sadness is still felt in my heart and the tears still flow, I now hold it in a different space.

Where in the past, I felt such shame and heartache, I now have an appreciation for the life that I have and for the people I share my life with. I find new ways to be grateful.

My hope is that in being open with my journey, that it will allow you to find peace with yours.

Every woman who heals herself, heals all the women who came before her and all the women who come after her. – Dr. Christine Northrup

Tracey Swainson is wife and fur baby mama, first and foremost. She’s also an intuitive healer and mentor, passionate about supporting women as they heal their heartache of pregnancy loss and the stories that may have been created due to the emotional trauma of their loss. She brings healing both to the spiritual and physical bodies through intimate, sacred, supportive one on one sessions. It was the emotional and spiritual healing of her own pregnancy loss experiences that fully birthed her into this sacred work. Tracey empowers women to transform their broken hearts and guides them to remember their inherent truth so they can gain closure and heal from the inside – out.  http://www.traceyswainson.com 

 

Photo Credit:  Antonina Bukowska

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