Have you been watching the Soul Sessions Series?
We’ve been talking about the different emotions of grief that we might experience and this week is all about GUILT!
What it is. How it affects us and some coping skills to support us through this!
Now we all experience guilt throughout our lives from childhood and beyond, but this week we’re talking about how we allow guilt to express its nasty negativity at a time in our life when we’re feeling so vulnerable!
After Pregnancy Loss.
Guilt can mess with our mind and make us believe things about ourselves that simply aren’t true.
It creates a space of self-blame or repressed anger, that we put on ourselves rather than expressing it verbally toward someone else. It eats away on our nerves and effects us mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
I found this quote by Louise Hay and it really made me think!
“Guilt is a totally useless emotion. It never makes anyone feel better, nor does it change a situation”. Louise Hay – You Can Heal Your Life.
How true is that?!
Guilt is a useless emotion that we use to punish ourselves rather than show compassion and forgiveness to the part of us that is in pain!
When we experience Guilt, we feel as though we’ve done something wrong and the questions of WHAT IF? WHY ME? WHAT DID I DO WRONG? IF ONLY? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?
Each of these begin to play a big role in our thought process!
What if? What if I had been healthier? What if I had taken better care of my body?
Why me? I wanted that baby so badly. Why can some women have babies so easily?
What did I do wrong? I thought I was doing everything right, how could this have happened? How could I have prevented this?
Am I not good enough?
I’ve asked these questions myself and I’ll bet you have too!
These questions often lead to self-blame, self-judgement and low self-esteem.
The thing about guilt is that it doesn’t just go away, yet there are steps that you can take to support yourself no matter where you are in your healing journey.
The first thing you can do is Recognize your Feelings.
If there is something that needs changing in your life, now is the time to create an awareness of that.
Then, whether there’s any truth to your feelings or not, Name It.
I feel guilty because…..
By not naming our feelings, whatever they are, we’re unable to come to terms with our loss and emotions.
Too often, our feelings of grief are buried deep in our psyche and we never get any real closure.
So what do we do next?
Recognize whose voice you’re listening to.
Are you listening to the voice of truth? Or the voice of lies? The voice of your heart will always leave you feeling a sense of peace. The voice of guilt will leave you feeling constricted, fearful and feeling small.
I leave you with this… Choose the one that will raise your vibration to one of peace.
This is a big one and its highly unlikely that you did anything wrong and certainly NO ONE blames you!
Forgiveness is for you and you alone. By forgiving yourself, you begin to release the hold that the feeling of guilt plays a part of in your life and allows a new feeling of peace to be created.
I love to use affirmations with my healing work and here are some that I thought you might enjoy too!
I am at peace.
I now release all guilt, struggle and blame.
I am full of love, compassion and peace for myself and my life.
I allow myself to soften and relax.
Come join our community of heart-centered women, where we come together here to support each other, share, connect and create new friendships through grief and healing.
Peace after Pregnancy Loss
Seeds of Grace…
There’s something about this word, Grace, that feels like a deep call from my soul, a remembering.
Each year, I choose a new word to guide me, to reach toward. A word that will help me to grow into the person I desire to become.
I chose my word(s) for this year and here we are in June; I can see already how far I’ve come with those words as my guiding force.
Yet; there is another word that keeps rising from deep inside. GRACE. I have a feeling this will be my word for 2019.
She leads me already. Whispering, guiding me, filling me up and making me feel whole.
Lean toward grace is another phrase that rises from deep within.
With all of this, its difficult to say exactly what grace is.
Even Saint Augustine asked the question….
“What is grace?
I know until you ask me; when you ask me, I do not know.” – Saint Augustine
I feel as though I’ve barely touched the surface of it.
The dictionary explains it as:
NOUN – simple elegance or refinement of movement.
VERB – do honor or credit to (someone or something) by one’s presence.
And yet, it feels much more than this.
I watch the birds fly through the air, and they move with such grace. I see the look in my pets eyes, and I see unconditional love there.
It’s something that has called me since I began this path of awakening or spiritual awareness. Its what I feel in moments of pure joy.
I feel it rising in me Every. Single. Time. that I give Reiki to a client. It’s an energy that flows from deep inside, up through my heart and out through my hands.
I once did a future visualization to meet the woman that is my guide, 20 years in my future. When I asked her name, she simply stated Grace. It wasn’t until the end of this visualization that I realized that woman is actually me, my future self, and her name is Grace. This left me in awe, and still does today!
Grace is a virtue that I long to embrace.
When I’ve experienced it, I felt unconditional love, pure joy, peace and ultimately, compassion.
I recently had a moment that deeply affected me. I was shocked at how deeply I felt these emotions and yet it gave me a profound awareness of some deep rooted emotional pain that needed to be healed. I would not have been aware of this, had I not had the experience. Through all of this, I was blessed with a friend who showed me true grace. It was through her selfless expression of grace, truth and compassion, that made all of this rise up inside of me once again.
It was another seed that had been planted.
We’ve all experienced moments of grace, even if we couldn’t exactly put our finger on it. So how do I experience it?
I experience Grace through Compassion. Beauty. Peace. Strength. Truth. Gratitude. Joy. Love. Gentleness. Kindness. All of these and so much more!
What about you? I would love to hear how you have experienced grace in your life?
The world needs more grace.
Let’s continue planting these seeds!
Be patient with your grief,
It’s is such a personal thing,
Healing your heartache of pregnancy loss takes time,
Lost in a tangle of emotions from deep sadness to shame;
Devastation, guilt, loneliness. Grief by nature is lonely.
As hard as it can be to admit, even jealousy and anger..
Whatever you feel inside, let your feelings rise.
Now is your time to navigate these muddy waters of emotions.
Honor the space you’re in, YOU ARE HEALING.
Your tears may well over and flow endlessly;
You may turn inward to work through your grief;
Its ok to be sad for yourself and still happy for others, just
You may feel empty inside.
You may want to sleep and hide away from loved ones.
In this moment, every thought and feeling is a journey of its own.
Feel what you are feeling, let your emotions rise.
Your heartache will lighten,
You will learn to honor your baby
In a way that’s right for you;
For now, this time is for you.
In the depths of your heartache,
You do not journey alone,
Sisters, past, present and future stand by your side’
Lifting you, reminding you….
You are strong.
Your light is still burning inside.
You may not see it now, you may not feel it.
You are more courageous, passionate and powerful than you know.
Sister, you are a powerful being of light!
YOUR LIGHT STILL SHINES TRUE.
If you’ve got questions or would you like to have support through your healing journey, I invite you to connect with me for a free 20 minute Soul Care Call