Holding Space for Grief Triggers

Holding Space for Grief Triggers

HOLDING SPACE FOR OUR GRIEF TRIGGERS

 

A smell, a memory, a photo, a song.

They can all bring up memories that trigger an emotional response of grief, fear, sadness and so much more.

Grief can come in waves, even years after the fact.  Splashing on the surface of our soul, opening us up to memories long past; reminding us of our own vulnerability and that our healing is not yet complete.

The loss of a parent, child, spouse, pet, a baby – born or unborn; can drop us to our knees. Just as we think we’ve made peace with our loss, a new reminder lands on the shore of our heart, breaking us open once again. Reminding us that there is more healing to be done.

When we don’t have the space or the emotional ability to process our grief, we all too often bury it deep inside.

We grieve within the capacity that we are able to in the moment.  For some, it may take months and for others, like myself, it may take years.

Grief Triggers

 

These triggers arise, as reminders that there is something inside of us that we have not yet made peace with.

A question that often comes my way is: What can I do when I’m emotionally triggered and how do I handle the emotions that arise?

One of the first things you can do is RECOGNIZE YOUR TRIGGER

Ask yourself these questions….

What are my triggers?

What emotion is being activated?

Where do I feel this emotion in my body?

Does it have a color, shape or size?

Close your eyes and intuitively feel where this emotion resides within your body.  By giving yourself the space to take a step back and identify this feeling, you’re immediately able to ground and center your energy.

Grief Triggers

Next, CREATE SOME SPACE TO REFLECT

There are many practices that can support your reflection, one them in journaling.

I love to journal.  Journaling has absolutely been a life saver for me.  So, if this feels safe for you, I invite you to sit down and begin let your thoughts flow through your pen.

Take a deep breath and ask yourself some simple questions to get started and soon, you’ll find that your words are flowing.

Here are a few simple journal prompts that may be helpful to get you started:

My grief triggers are _____________________ and this is why they still produce these emotions inside of me _________.

My favorite memory of you is ___________________ and this is why __________________.

Even after all this time, I still find it difficult to say your name aloud and this is why _______________.

I’m going to honor you by _____________________.

 

FIND YOUR COMMUNITY

Grief is a lonely place to be and now more than ever, we need a supportive community to share our sorrow.  Whether you surround yourself with family and friends, seek a professional, counselor, healer or join a grief circle; there is strength in community.

In the days of our ancestors, our people would surround us.  We would not face our grief alone.  Yet today, we live in a culture where the emotions of grief are simply not accepted.  We’re encouraged to get back to work without having had time to grieve. We hide our emotions away and close off our heart, for fear of what others might say.

My story healing the heartache of pregnancy loss

HONORING OUR GRIEF THROUGH RITUAL

Francis Weller states in his book, “The Wild Edge of Sorrow” that “Ritual provides the elements necessary to help transform whatever it is we are carrying in our psyches.”

I’ve found this to be true over and over again.  Ritual is an essential part of our life and whether you’re aware of it or not, you probably have several that support your daily existence.  From rising in the morning and making your bed, showering and brushing your teeth.  These are simple tasks that you perform without even thinking of it and yet, without it, you may not function to the best of your ability throughout your day.

Healing rituals for grief are equally important for your mental, emotional and spiritual well-being; they can be as simple or as complex as you desire.  Grief rituals can be deeply supportive when you get hit by those triggers that seemingly “come out of nowhere.”

They exist to help navigate the rites of passage that we move through at different phases of our life, one of them being the loss of a loved one.  They create a container that allow you to channel your grief in a safe and sacred way.

Its important to set the intention that this ritual is being created to honor you and to release any grief that may still be stored within your body.

Rituals can be creative too.  Whether you are an artist or not, get out some paints, markers or even your kids’ crayons and let your emotions flow through you.

Your ritual may be as simple as lighting a candle in honor of your loved one. It may be taking a deep breath and releasing it with love. It may be going for a run, hike, walk or even doing yoga and letting those emotions be expressed through the expansiveness of your bodies’ movement.  You may choose to make a favorite meal, or celebrate your loved ones birthday.

Whatever it might be, it comes from your heart and honors you as you continue on your healing journey.

Grief Triggers

THE SACREDNESS OF GRIEF

It literally took me years to know this but there is a sacredness to grief.

Grief grants us the gift of compassion, for ourselves and others.  It offers us the gift of inner strength that we may never have known without this experience. We learn of forgiveness, grace and joy.  And, most importantly, we learn that even from the ashes, we are able to RISE.

 

If you found this interesting then sign up to my mailing list to be the first to receive more inspiration, news of events or special offers delivered to your inbox every couple weeks.

 

Tracey is an intuitive grief mentor and energy healer. Her work aims to increase awareness of the grief healing journey and to hold space for the emotional and spiritual well-being of people struggling on the path of unresolved grief. It was her own healing journey of multiple miscarriages that fully birthed her sacred work. The grief work that she facilitates focuses on energy healing, mindful practices and soulful rituals, so they can create a sacred relationship with their loss, while finding a new way to embrace life.
7 Tips to Support Yourself Through Grief

7 Tips to Support Yourself Through Grief

What do you do when facing the emotions of grief?

How do meet your grief and let it move through you, rather than repress it or hold it at a distance?

All too often, in moments of deep grief and sadness, we bury our emotions deep inside, hoping they’ll disappear, never to see the light of day again. The thing is, grief is fluid. Its meant to move through us.

Trying to hide it away, is similar to trying to force a beach ball under water.  You know its going to burst out and you have no idea where it will go from there.

As a society of Western culture, we’re not taught how to hold space for our emotions of grief and I actually find that this is one of the questions most often asked by my clients.  How can I feel safe creating space for my grief?

So, I’ve made a list of 7 ways that you can support yourself through this emotional time and I’m certain that there is something here that will be supportive for you.

 

JOURNAL

Whenever I mention journaling, I get mixed reactions from people; either they love it or its simply not their thing.  I do understand.  When I first began my own healing journey, I couldn’t imagine putting my private thoughts down on paper, it didn’t feel safe for me.  I was willing to try though, and it was my saving grace. To this day I journal nearly every day.

Journaling gives your inner world a voice, it offers an expression to emotions long silenced.  So, if this might be something that interests you but you simply don’t know where to begin, try by stating how you feel.  What is your emotion? Why are you feeling that way? Where in your body are feeling that emotion? Journaling doesn’t have to be complicated.  Its simply a way to safely express your thoughts and emotions.

You can begin a gratitude list.

You can put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and just allow your thoughts to free-flow, with no expectation or judgement of what comes through you.

This is a time of reflection, connection, release and honoring you.

 

ALLOW YOUR SADNESS TO FLOW THROUGH YOU

Here is a simple practice.  Whether sitting or standing, place both feet firmly on the ground.  Take a nice deep breath inward and hold for 2 or 3 seconds. As you exhale, imagine your sadness moving through your breathe from your tummy, through your lungs and then breathe out with a sigh.  Do this again a few more times, moving your body if you feel the desire to, letting your emotions move with your breath.  Once you’ve done these two or three times, check in with your body. Does it feel softer, more relaxed? If not, do this breath practice again and then on completion, take a moment to give thanks to your breath for allowing your sadness to flow through it.

 

CRYSTALS FOR GRIEF

Rose Quartz:  I’ve carried rose quartz in my pockets, laid it under my pillow and kept it close by my journal when I write. I love this crystal! The rose quartz is wonderful to support the heart during times of heavy grief and sadness.

Apache Tears:  There’s a legend that goes with this stone which you can look up, but Apache Tears is very supportive during grief and helps to keep you in the present moment rather than the past.

Ruby Zoisite:  Another favorite, this beautiful green and ruby crystal is helpful to release heartache.

 

CEREMONY

This can be as simple or sacred as you like. Ceremony is helpful for closure on your healing journey. You could plant a tree in memory of your loved one or gather your family, light a candle and say a prayer or write a poem that you’ll always treasure.  You could create a prayer tree – have some ribbon and pieces of colored paper, pass them around so everyone can write a memory, a prayer or poem in memory of your loved one and then have them tie their prayers on a tree.  Each of these can then be keepsake for times that you need some extra emotional support. Whatever it is, make this exactly what you need to support your healing.

 

ABSOLUTE ROSE OIL

Just a tiny drop on your finger to gently massage into your heart. (both front and back) When your heart feels broken, this will support you to keep an open heart.

 

CLEAR THE ENERGY OF YOUR SPACE

Burn some sage, a bay leaf, incense, ring a crystal bell or use some of your favorite essential oils in a diffuser to clear any negative energy in your home. Set your intention for any energy that does not serve you, to pass through your home and then call in the energy your desire to fill this space. Be sure to open a window or two to all the smoke and negative energy to pass through your home.

 

CREATE A SACRED MEMORY BOX

This can be such a special opportunity to pour your heart into something beautiful for yourself and your loved one. In here, you can place your journal or any treasures that are meaningful to you. Sometimes you need to do something creative when your feelings are just so overwhelming and creating a memory box can be so comforting.

 

If you found this interesting then sign up to my mailing list to be the first to receive more inspiration, news of events or special offers delivered to your inbox every couple weeks.

 

Tracey is an intuitive grief mentor and energy healer. Her work aims to increase awareness of the grief healing journey and to hold space for the emotional and spiritual well-being of people struggling on the path of unresolved grief. It was her own healing journey of multiple miscarriages that fully birthed her sacred work. The grief work that she facilitates focuses on energy healing, mindful practices and soulful rituals, so they can create a sacred relationship with their loss, while finding a new way to embrace life.
Your Healing Needs Your Grief

Your Healing Needs Your Grief

Grief can Show us our Capacity for Love

6 years ago.

Life looked amazing.

Surrounded by beauty.

A loving husband who I adore, family, fur babies and a home full of amazing international students!

From the outside, my life was great. It really was!

On the inside, there was an inner heart ache.

Not present in every moment, but in the dark of night.

The quiet times.

In those solitary moments the tears would fall.

My sadness would bubble up from deep inside.

The on-going question of “Why?!”

No matter how hard I tried to disguise the emptiness that I felt inside, it would always sneak up behind me at the most in-opportune moments!

Setting the table for Thanksgiving for all who would be present, for everyone, except for 5 babies.

Remembering the magic of Christmas as a child, but knowing that we would never have a child who would have that experience.

Birthdays would come and go and no one would ever remember them but me.

Mother’s Day, by far the most difficult day of all!

All of this had been building inside of me for years, the ache of loss.

I didn’t know what to do with all my emotions of grief, I didn’t know how to grieve.

Yet slowly, it bubbled up from deep within.

Until one day, I looked in the mirror.

My soul was crying out for JOY.

That was the moment that everything changed. It wasn’t immediate.

It was slow and gentle, just as it should be.

My healing needed my grief.

It awakened something inside of me and gave me space to begin my journey to peace.

This was my path.

I needed to feel the pain of grief, it could not be by-passed.

I had desperately held onto my grief because it was the last remaining tie I had to my babies. I thought if I let that go, then I would be left with nothing.

And then, who would I be?

Today, I’m so grateful that I chose this path.

I’ve been to the depths and risen up through it all.

I’ve learned that grief can become a friend, who walks by my side to remind me of the magnificence of life!

Grief can be a balm for our broken hearts.
Grief shows us our capacity of love.
Grief is a skill that must be learned.

My journey with grief has taught me to dive deep into nurturing practices that have brought me so much peace.

So that today, I can show you.

So that together, we can shine a light into your shadows of grief.

So, you too, can make peace with your past.

If grief has been present in your life for far too long and you’re curious as to how we can work together, then schedule a complimentary 30-minute chat and let’s see if my work will be a good fit for you.

Peace and Blessings, Tracey

 

Tracey is an intuitive grief mentor and energy healer. Her work aims to increase awareness of the grief healing journey and to hold space for the emotional and spiritual well-being of people struggling on the path of unresolved grief. It was her own healing journey of multiple miscarriages that fully birthed her sacred work. The grief work that she facilitates focuses on energy healing, mindful practices and soulful rituals, so they can create a sacred relationship with their loss, while finding a new way to embrace life.

 

 

 

 

 

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