7 Tips to Support Yourself Through Grief

7 Tips to Support Yourself Through Grief

What do you do when facing the emotions of grief?

How do meet your grief and let it move through you, rather than repress it or hold it at a distance?

All too often, in moments of deep grief and sadness, we bury our emotions deep inside, hoping they’ll disappear, never to see the light of day again. The thing is, grief is fluid. Its meant to move through us.

Trying to hide it away, is similar to trying to force a beach ball under water.  You know its going to burst out and you have no idea where it will go from there.

As a society of Western culture, we’re not taught how to hold space for our emotions of grief and I actually find that this is one of the questions most often asked by my clients.  How can I feel safe creating space for my grief?

So, I’ve made a list of 7 ways that you can support yourself through this emotional time and I’m certain that there is something here that will be supportive for you.

 

JOURNAL

Whenever I mention journaling, I get mixed reactions from people; either they love it or its simply not their thing.  I do understand.  When I first began my own healing journey, I couldn’t imagine putting my private thoughts down on paper, it didn’t feel safe for me.  I was willing to try though, and it was my saving grace. To this day I journal nearly every day.

Journaling gives your inner world a voice, it offers an expression to emotions long silenced.  So, if this might be something that interests you but you simply don’t know where to begin, try by stating how you feel.  What is your emotion? Why are you feeling that way? Where in your body are feeling that emotion? Journaling doesn’t have to be complicated.  Its simply a way to safely express your thoughts and emotions.

You can begin a gratitude list.

You can put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and just allow your thoughts to free-flow, with no expectation or judgement of what comes through you.

This is a time of reflection, connection, release and honoring you.

 

ALLOW YOUR SADNESS TO FLOW THROUGH YOU

Here is a simple practice.  Whether sitting or standing, place both feet firmly on the ground.  Take a nice deep breath inward and hold for 2 or 3 seconds. As you exhale, imagine your sadness moving through your breathe from your tummy, through your lungs and then breathe out with a sigh.  Do this again a few more times, moving your body if you feel the desire to, letting your emotions move with your breath.  Once you’ve done these two or three times, check in with your body. Does it feel softer, more relaxed? If not, do this breath practice again and then on completion, take a moment to give thanks to your breath for allowing your sadness to flow through it.

 

CRYSTALS FOR GRIEF

Rose Quartz:  I’ve carried rose quartz in my pockets, laid it under my pillow and kept it close by my journal when I write. I love this crystal! The rose quartz is wonderful to support the heart during times of heavy grief and sadness.

Apache Tears:  There’s a legend that goes with this stone which you can look up, but Apache Tears is very supportive during grief and helps to keep you in the present moment rather than the past.

Ruby Zoisite:  Another favorite, this beautiful green and ruby crystal is helpful to release heartache.

 

CEREMONY

This can be as simple or sacred as you like. Ceremony is helpful for closure on your healing journey. You could plant a tree in memory of your loved one or gather your family, light a candle and say a prayer or write a poem that you’ll always treasure.  You could create a prayer tree – have some ribbon and pieces of colored paper, pass them around so everyone can write a memory, a prayer or poem in memory of your loved one and then have them tie their prayers on a tree.  Each of these can then be keepsake for times that you need some extra emotional support. Whatever it is, make this exactly what you need to support your healing.

 

ABSOLUTE ROSE OIL

Just a tiny drop on your finger to gently massage into your heart. (both front and back) When your heart feels broken, this will support you to keep an open heart.

 

CLEAR THE ENERGY OF YOUR SPACE

Burn some sage, a bay leaf, incense, ring a crystal bell or use some of your favorite essential oils in a diffuser to clear any negative energy in your home. Set your intention for any energy that does not serve you, to pass through your home and then call in the energy your desire to fill this space. Be sure to open a window or two to all the smoke and negative energy to pass through your home.

 

CREATE A SACRED MEMORY BOX

This can be such a special opportunity to pour your heart into something beautiful for yourself and your loved one. In here, you can place your journal or any treasures that are meaningful to you. Sometimes you need to do something creative when your feelings are just so overwhelming and creating a memory box can be so comforting.

 

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Tracey is an intuitive grief mentor and energy healer. Her work aims to increase awareness of the grief healing journey and to hold space for the emotional and spiritual well-being of people struggling on the path of unresolved grief. It was her own healing journey of multiple miscarriages that fully birthed her sacred work. The grief work that she facilitates focuses on energy healing, mindful practices and soulful rituals, so they can create a sacred relationship with their loss, while finding a new way to embrace life.
Creating Christmas Magic after Pregnancy Loss

Creating Christmas Magic after Pregnancy Loss

It’s that magical time of year.

Bright, colorful lights;

Family gatherings around tables of our favourite food;

Twinkling eyes of children, waiting in anticipation for their favorite jolly guy in his bright red suit;

And a new hope for what might come in the New Year!

Yet for you, your heart may feel broken, maybe tears are welling up in your eyes.

If your still in pain after having lost a pregnancy, this time of year can be particularly lonely. You feel empty inside and the joy of others might make you want to crawl under the covers until the New Year.

If you’re still healing from the heartache of pregnancy loss, I would love to share some ideas with you to help you bring some magic back into your holiday.

  • Give yourself Permission

Holiday gatherings can be overwhelming with well-intentioned, somewhat misguided comments from loving family or being in close proximity to pregnant friends and small children. At times like this, give yourself permission to excuse yourself early or politely bow out of even attending a gathering this year. Emotions after a pregnancy loss can run high and these settings may just add to your levels of stress.  At the same time, a change of scenery can help lift your spirits, so listen to your heart and follow its lead.

  • Gratitude

I know, I know. You hear this so much that you’re thinking, Pulleassse!  My heart might feels so numb and broken, how can I possibly feel grateful?!  I get it, yet the reality is, choosing gratitude will lift your spirits and at the same time, it helps you to see the little miracles around you. Just simply going through the motions of gratitude, sparks some simple changes, even without your awareness. A simple smile, a warm hug, a thank you. Just give it a try, before you get out of bed in the morning and before your eyes close at night, think of three things your grateful for. You can write them down or say them out loud but do this for 10 days and see how your list begins to grow.

  • Light a Candle

There’s something so peaceful about lighting a candle and no one else needs to know the purpose of it, if you don’t want to share it with them. On the eve of your holiday, light a candle in remembrance. As the wick begins to burn, set the intention that you are holding space for your baby and the healing of your broken dreams, as you send out your love to your little one.   There’s something very comforting about this and you can even do it as you sit down for your family dinner, knowing that you are sending blessings out to all you love.

  • Hold a Ceremony

This is a beautiful time of year to hold a ceremony of any kind but especially for your baby.  If you have family or friends that are aware of your loss, use this time to have your nearest and dearest support you.  Choose a space that feels safe for you, physically, mentally and emotionally. Make it sacred.

Have everyone bring a candle that you can each light to honor your baby. You could ask someone to read a poem or you could write a letter to your little one.  Whether you read it out loud or lay it near your circle of candles, just do what’s right for you.

This is a time of remembering, of honoring and releasing. You may want to say a prayer or choose a special blessing.  Just know that this is all for you, trust what feels right.

When you’re ready, you could plant your letter under a special tree or flower or even burn it and release it to the heavens.

In closing, ask those who gathered with you to write a message of hope.  Each message could then be tied with a ribbon to your tree or placed in a special box for you to read in your own time.

Distinguish your candles and thank everyone for all they brought to your space.

 

 

I hope you found this helpful.

If you’ve got questions or would you like to have support through your healing journey, I invite you to connect with me for a free 20 minute Soul Care Call

 

 

Tracey Swainson is an energy healer and intuitive guide on a mission to support women as they heal their heartache of pregnancy loss. She brings healing both to the spiritual and physical bodies through intimate, sacred, supportive one on one sessions. It was the emotional and spiritual healing of her own pregnancy loss experiences that fully birthed her into this sacred work. Tracey empowers women to transform their broken hearts and guides them to remember their inherent truth so they can gain closure and heal from the inside – out.

 

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