What do you do when facing the emotions of grief?
How do meet your grief and let it move through you, rather than repress it or hold it at a distance?
All too often, in moments of deep grief and sadness, we bury our emotions deep inside, hoping they’ll disappear, never to see the light of day again. The thing is, grief is fluid. Its meant to move through us.
Trying to hide it away, is similar to trying to force a beach ball under water. You know its going to burst out and you have no idea where it will go from there.
As a society of Western culture, we’re not taught how to hold space for our emotions of grief and I actually find that this is one of the questions most often asked by my clients. How can I feel safe creating space for my grief?
So, I’ve made a list of 7 ways that you can support yourself through this emotional time and I’m certain that there is something here that will be supportive for you.
Whenever I mention journaling, I get mixed reactions from people; either they love it or its simply not their thing. I do understand. When I first began my own healing journey, I couldn’t imagine putting my private thoughts down on paper, it didn’t feel safe for me. I was willing to try though, and it was my saving grace. To this day I journal nearly every day.
Journaling gives your inner world a voice, it offers an expression to emotions long silenced. So, if this might be something that interests you but you simply don’t know where to begin, try by stating how you feel. What is your emotion? Why are you feeling that way? Where in your body are feeling that emotion? Journaling doesn’t have to be complicated. Its simply a way to safely express your thoughts and emotions.
You can begin a gratitude list.
You can put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and just allow your thoughts to free-flow, with no expectation or judgement of what comes through you.
This is a time of reflection, connection, release and honoring you.
ALLOW YOUR SADNESS TO FLOW THROUGH YOU
Here is a simple practice. Whether sitting or standing, place both feet firmly on the ground. Take a nice deep breath inward and hold for 2 or 3 seconds. As you exhale, imagine your sadness moving through your breathe from your tummy, through your lungs and then breathe out with a sigh. Do this again a few more times, moving your body if you feel the desire to, letting your emotions move with your breath. Once you’ve done these two or three times, check in with your body. Does it feel softer, more relaxed? If not, do this breath practice again and then on completion, take a moment to give thanks to your breath for allowing your sadness to flow through it.
CRYSTALS FOR GRIEF
Rose Quartz: I’ve carried rose quartz in my pockets, laid it under my pillow and kept it close by my journal when I write. I love this crystal! The rose quartz is wonderful to support the heart during times of heavy grief and sadness.
Apache Tears: There’s a legend that goes with this stone which you can look up, but Apache Tears is very supportive during grief and helps to keep you in the present moment rather than the past.
Ruby Zoisite: Another favorite, this beautiful green and ruby crystal is helpful to release heartache.
This can be as simple or sacred as you like. Ceremony is helpful for closure on your healing journey. You could plant a tree in memory of your loved one or gather your family, light a candle and say a prayer or write a poem that you’ll always treasure. You could create a prayer tree – have some ribbon and pieces of colored paper, pass them around so everyone can write a memory, a prayer or poem in memory of your loved one and then have them tie their prayers on a tree. Each of these can then be keepsake for times that you need some extra emotional support. Whatever it is, make this exactly what you need to support your healing.
ABSOLUTE ROSE OIL
Just a tiny drop on your finger to gently massage into your heart. (both front and back) When your heart feels broken, this will support you to keep an open heart.
CLEAR THE ENERGY OF YOUR SPACE
Burn some sage, a bay leaf, incense, ring a crystal bell or use some of your favorite essential oils in a diffuser to clear any negative energy in your home. Set your intention for any energy that does not serve you, to pass through your home and then call in the energy your desire to fill this space. Be sure to open a window or two to all the smoke and negative energy to pass through your home.
CREATE A SACRED MEMORY BOX
This can be such a special opportunity to pour your heart into something beautiful for yourself and your loved one. In here, you can place your journal or any treasures that are meaningful to you. Sometimes you need to do something creative when your feelings are just so overwhelming and creating a memory box can be so comforting.